Face It Friday: A Gain & Overall Marathon Training Thoughts

Hey All! Unfortunately I do not have time to grace you all with one of my long-winded stream of conscious posts today. Why you may ask?

Well I had a great morning of personal coaching calls, BUT it is finally Boston Marathon weekend so I need to prep for the afternoon. The fun fun fun starts at 2pm and shockingly I have a lot to do before then including lead one final Weight Watchers meeting during lunch.

Soooo let's get right to it. Shall we? Oh and I am already doing a horrible job about NOT being long-winded. :P

I actually weighed myself at home on Thursday before leaving for work because I wasn't sure I would make it to weigh-in today. Yesterday I was up 1.8 lbs and I let it get to my head. I was angry and hurt. I wanted to see a loss or at least a gain of less than 1 lb. BUT I had committed to tracking everything through that day before taking the tracking pressure off of myself over the weekend.

As a result, I decided that no matter what I would weigh in today as well because well I was curious to see the difference a day could make.

So I had my alarm set - "You are more than a number" - and faced the scale.

Yup up 0.8 - 1 less than yesterday.

Hello fluctuation and whatever else mother nature wants to throw at us.

Now I wanted a loss, but again I was still in the negative. So a gain wasn't totally on my radar. Plus I had been losing for the past few weeks when I didn't expect it.

The -/+ represents how over I was on my points for the week. So being down 0.8 over the past 4 weeks when each was in the negative - I'll take that.

Oh hi perspective I needed you to show up.

I also needed to remind myself that I am a good 20 pounds less than last year's Boston Marathon, I didn't emotionally eat this week on the anniversary of the bombing and I am still down during the entire marathon training cycle.

Proud of my progress this marathon training cycle - Not only on the scale, but also in terms of my cross training and my core/strength work!!

12/5/14 - 159.8 1/2/15 - 160.8 4/17/15 - 151.2

I will take all of it!

Plus I rocked some pretty amazing streaks this year as well.

So overall I am accepting of the gain - not totally shocked - and ready to turn my attention to a fun weekend with friends and running. Now I am not making myself track or beating myself up if I don't, but I still will be aware. I mean once you know the Points of stuff you can't UNknow it, which leads to some subconscious tracking all the time.

***

So I will walk away from the training cycle with less weight (about 8 lbs), a stronger core, some baby arm muscles and a great mental attitude!!

Thank you all for sticking with me and tuning in to my Face It Friday posts/rambles. I will be weighing in next Friday and will as always take whatever the scale gives me.

***

How has your mental/emotional state about weight loss changed during your journey?

Face It Friday: Weigh-In Results, Food Find & Sharing My Relationship With My Excess Skin

Since recommitting to my weight loss journey in June 2014, I've been doing my best to weigh-in weekly and share my tracker numbers. Not so much for others, but to hold myself accountable. The past few weeks have been the worst numbers I've tracked since joining Weight Watchers. Now I'm not saying they have been my worst weeks since joining WW since there have been MANY a time where I wouldn't track the really really really ugly!

But in 2015 I vowed to reclaim the consistency I lacked in 2014 so that means honest tracking! I mean if I track the 29 pts of Peanut M&Ms I had as 9 - that may look better, but the lying harms no one but myself. I might as well track honestly, own the slip-up/indulgence/treat and move on!

As we have talked about chain reactions, slip-ups and attitude adjustments over the past few weeks in WW meetings, honest tracking has impacted my relationship in all three of those areas... for the better!

So this past week was no different. Well, it was. For the past few weeks I had been sharing my tracker throughout the week on Twitter or Facebook for extra accountability. To try and help myself crawl back out of the negative. Now I was too far gone to actually get out of the negative, but I could chip away at it.

But this week I didn't. I stopped sharing it in some of the group texts I was in too. Why? Judgement. I try to create a judgement free zone on my social media channels, but it still exists. Some of the comments I got in response to my trackers were hurtful. So I thought I would save myself those comments and pain. I know some of the people are projecting their feelings about their own journeys on to me and I understand that... it just doesn't make it any less painful.

This week was a step back. I still shared with a couple of people, but for the most part I used the tracker as my own feedback.

The feedback? It was the ugliest I had ever tracked. BUT I tracked it all. Every delicious cookie and splurge were tracked, owned and accounted for.

While I am not happy to see such a negative number, I am proud of recording it.

For the third week in a row, I prepped my mind for a gain. I used the same alarm label as the week before: "You are more than a number." I didn't want to weigh-in. I wanted to hide from the scale, but I am more than a number. I needed to face the scale for feedback and to be able to once again attempt to start the week on a fresh clean page.

So Friday I got on the scale and for the third week I was shocked...

... another loss!

I again thanked the scale gods and ran away as quickly as possible. :P I cannot explain why I am so in the negative and still losing. Maybe my body needed the change? I don't really know. But as soon as the loss happened I didn't want to share. Those same people who judged me for a negative tracker also had seemed wicked annoyed that I was losing while it was happening. #Ouch

Now while training I have been trying to lose so my tracker was set for a 29 DPT (Daily Points Target). Maybe that was low? Maybe my body wanted more? I am not sure.

But I know it will be an adjustment after the marathon --- which is just a week away!

This week I am focusing on fueling for the marathon. Adding in some healthy carbs and trying to keep the snackey foods at bay. Marathon weekend will be filled with social engagements and running. Shocking I know! ;)

I made a rule with myself. If I tracked every day from the return from Disney (Feb 25) to the Thursday of marathon weekend (April 16), I wouldn't make myself track Marathon weekend (Friday-Tuesday). Again this doesn't mean all food habits are thrown out the window, it just means I won't have to worry about tracking them all during this stressful/fun weekend.

***

Food Find Of The Week: Bolthouse Farms Miso Ginger Vinaigrette!

Absolutely delicious and my new obsession. 45g of dressing = 1PPV!

***

I've never had a particularly good relationship with my body. I've never been one of those people with a positive body image. I'm the master of picking myself apart. Instead of improving as I lost weight, I've found it has gotten worse. I can now see more of the imperfections that were hidden behind/around/under layers of fat.

But when I share on social media or with friends about my excess skin, I normally get a confused look. Many folks think that I have none after losing over 85 lbs. I mean you are seeing me in compression pants or running shorts - those things can sometimes suck in all the imperfections we want to hide.

Folks don't see what I see when I look in the mirror - which I try to avoid. Folks don't see what I see when I bend over after getting out of the shower. Folks don't see what I see when I do my planks in just a sports bra and pants.

So I thought it was time I shared what I see... or at least attempt to.

We can start with the standing and side view.

We could debate all day and night what I see compared to what others see. But I know that I am lucky to not have as much skin hanging down as others do. But the skin is still there and it still hangs.

So I now share with you what I see when I look down during planks.

Note: I almost didn't write/share these thoughts because I knew there would be people saying that my thoughts on my amount of excess skin wouldn't be valid since it isn't as extreme as other weight-loss stories. But then I remembered that my blog is a place for me to share my feelings. So I gave myself a butt kicking and here it is. :)

It was scary to have my wife snap these pics as I had a picture in my mind of what the skin looked like, but this was actual documentation. Does that make sense?

Now I am not ashamed or embarrassed by these pics. I know it is a result of changing my life and deciding one day that I was worth a healthier lifestyle.

Do I wish I could just cut it off and have it gone? Sure.

But for now I will hold on to it as a reminder of the struggles I have gone through, the amazing changes I have made and the past that I refuse to go back to.

While my excess skin may not be as much or as loose as others, it is still a part of my journey that I felt I needed to share.

***

How do you deal with the judge-y people in your life?

Face It Friday: A Loss, A Food Find & A Limited Time 50% Off Offer From Weight Watchers

Another Weight Watchers week in the books. Now I have been having some luck on the scale recently when the numbers (Points Plus Values) proved it should've gone otherwise. I have been in the negative the past couple of weeks and I am not happy with that. Tracking is crucial because I can look back and see where I was wasting points. The past couple of weeks they have been on weekend splurges and snacky type food. Not how I want to be fueling/spending my Points right now.

I also know that I have been slipping back into some old emotional eating habits.

I recognize the trend and will work to change it. This past week however was another doozy. It was that time of the month for me and I was craving all sorts of things and giving in to temptation. I should've been stronger, but I was feeling emotionally, mentally and physically drained. :( It is definitely not a proud week for me, BUT I am proud of myself for owning all of the decisions and tracking them.

So how bad was it?

Tune of -153. Yup. It was tough. BUT I am proud of my Activity Point level.

I have been using 29 as my Daily Points Target and have been going over that pretty much every day in the past couple of weeks. I think I hit 29 just once in that time. Now that says to me either 1) I am making poor choices each day or 2) I need more fuel than I think while training for the marathon.

Now last week I was expecting a gain and somehow walked away with a 0.4 lb loss. Thanks scale!

So this week I was once again expecting a gain so I set my alarm message as: "You are note defined by a number!" It was a help when I woke up to weigh-in on Friday.

Aaannddd...

I somehow lost another 0.4 lbs. Yes this is now my lowest weight since like the early 90s - aka 6th grade. I am really in shock.

I do not want to keep this trend of being so far in the negative to continue. I am going to work on making smarter choices during the week to choose more filling, lower Point value foods (Hey Power Foods) and to stop buying the snacky options that are tempting me while at home. I will be setting my space up for success.

I am still proud of the progress I have made since returning from Disney World, this year and during marathon training.

But there is room for improvement especially with a little less activity in my future over the next two weeks as I taper down for the marathon (April 20).

***

Food Find Of The Week: Bamboo Lane Crunchy Rice Rollers!

Thanks to a member of the Tuesday WW meeting I reception for bringing these in for us. 1 is 1 PPV. 2 is 2 PPV. 3 is 4 PPV. These have been a great snack in between WW meetings or a quick snack while on the move. I have been keeping them in my backpack and in my car as a just in case!

***

Have you heard the news?

Weight Watchers has a great deal going on - 50% off when you purchase a Meetings Subscription plan between 4/3-11!

Learn more & get started here!!

Will I see you in a meeting room soon? I lead at:

^ Medford Center (674 Fellsway in Medford) at 5:30pm on Mondays

^ Boston Center (101 Summer St in Boston) at 8:00am on Thursdays

***

How do you use your food tracker as feedback?

Weekend Wrap-Up Plus Final Day of Sparkly Soul Discount Code!

Why must weekends pass so quickly and the weekdays drag on and on? I know I am starting your Monday off with the hard-hitting questions! ;) But once again I had a fabulous weekend that ended too soon.

I was ready for a fresh start on Friday after a very emotionally driven week. I was all over the place with my food choices and just not in the game.

As always my #FaceItFriday weigh-in gave me the chance to bid adios to the prior week and it's baggage and say hello to a new slate.

And it even greeted me with a shocking loss. Thanks scale gods.

For those that don't know that is my lowest weight since 6th grade. Yes you read that right - since junior high/1993(ish).

In total I have shed 65.8 lbs with Weight Watchers (started November 2009) and 83 overall from my highest.

2004 vs. 2015

After a surprising weigh-in, I had some amazing Personal Coaching calls with my WW members before having a kick ass mail day! Both my Sparkly Soul and Sparkle Athletic orders arrived at the same time. :)

Yes I totally had a Treat Yo Self moment when feeling down in the dumps the week prior. Retail Therapy FTW? ;)

With a 20-miler on tap for Saturday, I took it easy Friday night with a little shakeout run on the treadmill then followed it up with a nice evening in bed (Zensah compression, boboli pizza and a little vino)!

Perfect Friday night, right?

Now if you haven't done a long run before, I can tell you it takes up pretty much the entire day between the run itself, follow-up brunch and then recovery time. ;) Or that might just be my plan. :P

We had a great 20-mile run on the Boston Marathon course despite it snowing the entire time and a delicious lunch at Bertucci's after. Once I got home it was time to face the dreaded ice bath. Thankfully I talked my wife into sitting with me to distract me!

Yes it was painful 6 minutes! I know only 6 minutes, but it felt like 60. And the wine didn't help as much as I wanted it to... but it was still a delicious addition.

With no real desire to do anything much the rest of the day, the wife and I used the rest of the day to catch up on some Netflix and blogging.

Oh and puppy snuggles!!

It was awesome to sleep in until 7:30am on Sunday. Boy I remember the days in college when you would sleep in until like 11 or 12 then do a hungover brunch.

Now I sleep in until 7:30 and head to a Spin class. What happened to me? Oh lifestyle changes. #WorthIt

On Sunday I tested out a new Boston Spin Studio - Velo City - which is just off Boylston St on Fairfield.

Love that they offer complimentary Spin shoes!

Velo City had a great vibe and Matt (the instructor) had one sweet playlist with awesome remixes.

I was worried about tackling a 60-min Spin class the day after the 20-miler, but my legs felt amazing after!

If you are in the area, definitely check them out!!

The rest of Sunday was spent catching up on work, getting in a recovery 5k and soaking up the sun and "warmer" weather!!

It felt great coming into Monday feeling refreshed and recharged! It didn't hurt that I had a 60-min massage on tap for Monday morning as well.

***

Now to help you help me! ;) Today (3/30) is the FINAL DAY of my Sparkly Soul discount code.

Use code DANIRUNSBOSTON to receive 10% off your order AND have 10% of your order come back to my 2015 Boston Marathon fundraising efforts for Tedy's Team!! #FightStroke

Code expires tonight (3/30) at 11:5pm PT!!

***

How did you recharge this weekend?

Face It Friday: Emotional Week, NOT Avoiding The Scale & Streaks

To say I didn't want to step foot on the scale today would be an understatement. Why be afraid of the scale? Well it was one emotional week which lead to some off-plan food choices and general merriment that happened over the weekend. For the first time in probably years :P I had three social engagements in one weekend. Ummmm yeah I don't normally have that many in a month. ;) Also not kidding. I don't have much of a life so really the only times I really get very off plan is sheer laziness.

But anyway... this week was a different situation. From the get go I was all over the map with happiness, sadness, anger, loneliness, boredom, hopelessness... I mean you think of the emotion I was probably feeling it.

Now the entire week was not a bust. There were a few times that I realized I was reaching for food out of anger rather than hunger. So I will celebrate those few instances.

Overall, the week was one that I couldn't wait to wipe clean. I thought I would just avoid the weigh-in and just start fresh today. Wellll while looking in the mirror Wednesday night (doing my #30DaysOfPositivity challenge), I told myself there was NO reason to avoid weigh-in and to buck up and just get on the damn scale.

I mean there is no reason I should allow this object to dictate my self-worth SO I devised a plan: accountability.

After completing #wwchat and my #30DaysOfPositivity, I vowed to make Thursday an on-plan kick-ass day! Thursday is the final day of my Weight Watchers week and I wanted to go out on a good foot.

And you know what - it worked. Every time a negative thought came in my head, I reminded myself I was only going to be positive.

I also reached out to my Weight Watchers members and told them I would get on the scale no matter what the next day. I have to live what I preach - right?

Then I set a special label for my Friday morning alarm...

Then my friend Justin made an even better one!!

I was all smiles when he texted me this! After reading these, I was actually amped to get on the scale and use THAT as my week's fresh start.

So this morning the alarm went off, I looked at the finished product of my week.

(I calculated that 92 of that 117 came from booze)

And looked at what Friday would bring...

... a clean slate!

So on the scale I went and...

it was a loss! Sssaaayyy wwhhhaaa??

I thanked the scale gods and jumped off the scale as quickly as possible.

Now I won't be going off and repeating the same actions I took this week just because the scale was kind. Instead I am learning from my tracker (hello feedback) and devising some new strategies to handle emotional eating the next time it happens.

***

Since the beginning of the year I've only missed 3 weigh-ins: 2 because I was out-of-town and 1 because I slept through it. My goal in 2015 was to be more consistent with weigh-ins and tracking and I think the weight record speaks for itself that it is working!!

Consistency was also my goal in 2014 and I didn't follow through. So I'm happy to see Attempt 2 at consistency is starting off on a better foot. :)

***

In addition to not throwing away the entire week just because I had some bumps in the road, I am proud of the streaks I have.

When I felt like everything was slipping away from me this past week, I knew that I had control over one thing: my streaks.

For those wondering: I use the Simple Habits app on my iPhone to track my Streaks.

***

Now facing the scale when I didn't want to and tracking my choices no matter what hasn't ALWAYS been my M.O. There have been plenty of times during this journey that I skipped my meeting and waited a week so I could "lose the gain" or I knew a food choice was soooo bad I "didn't want to see it." But over time I've realized that doesn't help me change the relationship with my scale or my food choices.

Now tracking it no matter what or getting on and seeing the gain, helps the guilt or fear pass quicker then before. And it helps me get back on track faster.

***

How do you motivate yourself to track the good, the bad and the ugly?

Face It Friday: Shocking Weigh-In, Being Sick & Staying Mindful

I'd been feeling pretty rough - coughy, fatigued, etc - for about four days or so before I finally took the advice of my loved ones and headed to the Minute Clinic on Tuesday. It was there I received my diagnosis: bronchitis. Oof! With a diagnosis came meds. There really isn't any way to track my cough drops or meds in eTools so I just took what was needed and trusted the process.

Another side effect of being sick: limited activity. Now I was still moving since the doctor said it was helpful to breaking up the mucus, but not like I usually do. So far in 2015, I've averaged about 90-105 Activity Points per week.

This week? 63.

So I had no idea what to expect on the scale. I assumed I'd gain since that is what normally happens when I am sick.

I made the call that I would once again step on the scale no matter what.

Annnddd....

Say wha???

I was speechless! This is the lowest weight I have been since 6th grade. Yes junior high. My previous low with WW was 153.4, which happened twice.

Now I know there could be many factors into the weigh-in this week. But for now I am going to thank the Scale Gods and move right along.

Do I know if the scale will balance back out next week? Who knows. But worrying about future weigh-ins has never helped me in the past... so why start now?

I am going to bask in my ability to stay mindful with my food choices this week. Normally when sick I use it as an excuse to eat whatever I want because my "body needs it."

How did I check in to make sure my food cravings/desires were real or not?

I took a line from one of my WW members and asked myself:

Am I feeding my brain or my stomach?

This gave me the 10-15 seconds to realize that I really only wanted X because it sounded good NOT because it would help me get better. Thank you awareness!! :)

I also give a big ups to tracking, which also held me accountable during the week when I had more downtime than usual. Man when I am not working out I really have a lot of time to mindlessly eat! :P

So this upcoming week I will stay the course and keep doing what I'm doing!

***

Do you track while you are sick?

Face It Friday: Negative Points, A Loss & Another Lesson

Prior to my Thursday 8am Weight Watchers meeting at the Boston Center, I was chatting with one of the members before she got on the scale. She shared how she faces the scale each week no matter what. As she simply stated:

The number will be the same whether I step on the scale or not.

<<Light Bulb Moment>>

I've heard this before. Heck I've even said it to other members. But for some reason in that moment it hit home.

I had been wavering on facing the scale this morning and that moment pushed me on to the scale today.

Why didn't I want to get on the scale? Well it could be something about being wwaaay into the negative.

Yes to the tune of -115!

Now I know from personal experience that I can be very in the negative and still lose weight. But this week I just didn't want to see a gain. It had been a very emotional week and I thought seeing a gain might put me in a bad head space... like the previous week's gain had.

BUT I had to pull up my big girl panties undies sparkle skirt and get on the scale anyway. I had to show the scale that I wouldn't be defined by any stupid three-digit number.

And you know what! I lost 1 pound.

Yay! Well that was a nice surprise.

Now I'm still up 2.2 lbs for the past month, BUT I am back in my free Lifetime range.

Time to buckle down and refocus. I am working through my funk and hoping to curb the emotional eating that is resulting from it.

Ironic since this week's WW topic was emotional eating. It's like WW knew I needed this week for my own personal journey. Thank you WW.

While February wasn't my best month in recent history food-wise, I AM proud of the many streaks that I was able to keep in tact.

I owe big props to the Simple Habits app for keeping me motivated. Yes a stupid app keeps me going. I get super excited every time I can check off another accomplishment.

***

Lesson From This Week (that I have relearned for the 1,000th time): Tracking Honest Tracking Works!

Even if you are in the negative and upset with yourself, push past that feeling and track it. Owning the choices really will help you move past the guilt faster and make it easier to get back on track! I promise.

***

This week's #NSV (Non-Scale Victory): Bridesmaid Dress Edition... 2008 vs 2009 vs 2015!

On Saturday I was wicked nervous to go with my cousin to try on the bridesmaid dress for her upcoming wedding (8/8). Internal fear struck of not fitting into the options they had. Who could blame me the only other weddings I was in I had to buy a size 22 (left) and 18/20 (center).

But we went and I slowly put on the sample (size 12) and it was too big!! They actually had to add clips to the back to get it to stay up. So I was actually told to buy a size 10! Well my bust line and hips measured a 10, but my waist was a 12/14 (hello excess skin), but she went with the 10.

Aaahhhh?!?! Me!! Yes me! I can't even put into words the feelings that took over my whole being! Okay I can - it was so much PRIDE!! Now to use that feeling and that dress as motivation to continue crushing my goals!

***

Did you face the scale this Friday?

#MotivationMonday: Succeeding After Struggling

For those that don't know, I have lost 80 pounds (60+ with Weight Watchers).

I hit goal with WW in January 2012 and successfully kept the weight off for about 2 years.

Until...

(Left pic) In June 2014 I faced the scale after a bad winter/Spring and saw 178.6! I had hidden away from the scale and lied to myself about the weight gain. But at that moment I reclaimed my mojo and got back to basics. So while I trained for my first Half Ironman I lost weight. I tracked, attended my weekly Weight Watchers mtg, focused on portions and fueling my body.

(Right pic) January 2015 and back at goal (155). I'm in a much better space mentally and still tracking, watching portions and refueling my body while I train for the Boston Marathon.

Many said they didn't notice my 23 pound weight gain, but I did. I felt it as I trained and completed two marathons in a week in April 2014. I felt it as my tracker sat empty. I felt like a fraud to my WW members. I felt it in my soul.

While I never wanted to have a gain of that magnitude after hitting goal, I'm glad I did as it made me a stronger and more resolved in my journey to maintain my weight loss.

Now I can say I am back to being a person who shed 80-pounds.

Can I say with 100% certainty that this won't happen again? No! But I am in a better place to recognize the warning signs of struggle, depression and general BLAH feelings that lead me to emotionally eat.

So if you have had a backslide, you are not alone. Start with one small change to help right the ship.