Dani Dishes 3-17-14

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On this episode of Dani Dishes, I'm sharing about the film shoot for my Boston Marathon training and a how I mixed up the workouts this week! :)

Dani Dishes 3-10-14

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On this episode of Dani Dishes, I had a fun week with great friends, family and a FUN EXCITING announcement about this upcoming week. (Hint: it involves a film crew (keep your minds out of the gutter!)

An Exercise For Motivation...

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The topic I am asked most about is motivation: How do I keep it going? How do I find it again once it's lost? Can I buy it somewhere? Will you come to my house and motivate me on a daily basis? (Only if you live somewhere tropical on the last one ;))

Finding-motivation-at-work

There are a hundred things I could suggest and maybe some day I will take the time to write a wicked long post with all the things I can think of about motivation. But for now, I leave you with the number one tip I give everyone.

A little exercise I have been having some of my Weight Watchers members and readers do when saying they need to re-motivate or get back on track:

**get old school and write a list of all the reasons you started this journey (healthy living, fitness, etc)

**put those reasons on tiny pieces of paper in a jar to take out when you need a dose of motivation or put them on post-it notes and hang on the bathroom mirror

Like so...

thanks

Thanking myself for deciding I was worth the journey!

enough

Reminding myself I am enough just the way I am! 

So if you are looking to re-motivate yourself, grab some scraps of paper, a legal pad or post-it notes and get to writing! You won't regret it! :)

I'm F*ckin' Perfect... I'm Me!

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I feel as if the lyrics to Pink's song "F*ckin' Perfect" were written for me. I know I have mentioned it before, but I think each time I hear them it just resonates with me even more. The parts that really get me are: "Pretty, pretty please Don't you ever, ever feel Like your less than F*ckin' perfect. Pretty, pretty please If you ever, ever feel Like your nothing You're f*ckin' perfect to me.

You're so mean,  When you talk about yourself, You are wrong. Change the voices in your head Make them like you instead."

The second stanza in particular was me to a T. For so long, I was my own worst critic. I honestly am not sure what has switched inside my head, but all of a sudden over the last month I am FINALLY taking some PRIDE in what I have accomplished. I can't tell you what made the trigger go off, but it did.

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But, as I thought about how on January 28, 2011, I went under the knife for major back surgery, and how much has changed since that moment...

* I took the wife's advice and started this blog ... three-year blog-aversary is May 26, 2014.

* I proceeded to rekindle my love of running - completing 14 races from June through December of that year - including a half marathon less than 8 months after surgery.

*I've completed 15 half marathons and 3 marathons since having a microdiscectomy on my back January 2011, where the doctor said I wouldn't be able to run again because of the strength lost in my left leg.

*I've been lucky enough to travel around the United States running in races and meeting amazing bloggers/social media friends along the way.

*Married my love on November 12, 2010. :)

* The wife and I took a vacation together that was longer than three days. We finally got to go on that Hawaiian honeymoon we wanted ... where I proceeded to wear a bathing suit ... IN PUBLIC!

* I was featured in a magazine article about my weight loss journey.

* I hit my original goal weight that I set on November 2, 2009 (Day One of Weight Watchers). I hit the NEW goal weight (155) that I set after hitting the first goal weight (164). :P

* We made the biggest decision of our life together to date and picked up and moved back to the East Coast in January 2012.

* I was chosen to work for Weight Watchers as a Leader and continue to pay forward everything they had given me.

* I hit LIFETIME status with Weight Watchers, which meant I hit my goal weight and maintained it for 6 weeks. Woo! I even got to live out my fantasy of having a Biggest Loser type moment by throwing confetti in the air! :)

*I've improved my 5k time from 38:21 to 21:59. I hit my first-ever sub 8 min/mile pace in March 2012 - 7 years after my 5k! :)

* I've raised over $11,000 for Tedy's Team and the Fight Against Stroke in honor of my Grandparents!

* I completed the Dopey Challenge in Disney - 4 races, 4 days, 48.6 miles!

*I wore a bikini in public, which I NEVER thought would happen.

* After starting the #plankaday program with a 30 second plank in 2011, my PR for a plank is now 5 minutes and 30 seconds.

* This blog's Facebook page is approaching 7,000 likes.

Wow, I cannot believe all of that awesome stuff has taken place in the last 14 months. After writing that out, how can I not be completely proud of myself. I have accomplished so much and have followed my heart in ways I could've never imagined.

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Growing up I had zero confidence in myself, through this journey on Weight Watchers I have found a sense of outgoing confidence I never thought possible. Are there times (like this past weekend) when it fails me, sure, but deep down I still know that "I am STRONGER than I think I am!" Sometimes, I just need to repeat that to myself a few hundred times to get it to stick.

Because this journey has taught me that it is okay to be me because I am freakin' awesome! Each day I become a little more comfortable in my own skin because I have sooo much to be proud of.

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So if you are ever having a down day, just know: you are freakin' perfect to me!!

Dani Dishes 2-24-14

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On this episode of Dani Dishes, I am bringing to light National Eating Disorder Awareness week and my own battles with eating disorders. KNOW you are not alone. I am reachable if you need help: dani@weightoffmyshoulders.com!

*GUEST POST* Never Say Never... By Suzi Storm

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Regaining weight after hitting goal or getting close to goal is something I get asked about often. Thankfully, I do not have first-hand experience with gaining weight back (besides after healing from my eating disorders - which isn't the same). Soooo I asked my dear friend Suzi (aka Suzi Storm) to share her story about regaining weight after hitting her goal weight and starting the weight loss journey all over again!!

suzi

Suzi & I at her wedding in June 2013

Take it away Suzi!

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Never Say Never…

never

 

Dani is a friend that is near and dear to my heart. So when she asked me if I would be interested in writing a guest post I said “hell yeah”…

So if the title didn’t give it away already…this is a post about where I come out…for my love of Justin Bieber.

Just kidding.  ‘Never say never’ is his song right?! Otherwise this post is already heading in a horrible direction.

My “success” story in a nutshell…I lost 101 lbs following the Weight Watchers program in 2010.  In 2011 my life went on the wildest rollercoaster that I have yet to experience in my 30 years on this planet. It kind of goes like this…go to NYC to do a success story shoot for Weight Watchers Online…get chosen to go to Chicago to be on Oprah & be one of the 100 people who have lost 100 lbs or more for her very last weight loss episode...do numerous amounts of local news and newspaper interviews who want to display my story…get chosen to be featured in the Weight Watchers Winter/Spring ‘Believe’ campaign & go on to be featured in magazines along with having numerous television commercials…am asked to contribute my story and have my very own little section in former Weight Watchers CEO David Kirchhoff’s book ‘Man Meets Scale’.  Oh and within this year I would go to Boston to train and become a Weight Watchers meeting leader not once…but twice (well I didn’t train twice, I just was a leader for a few months, stopped, then became a leader again…and stopped).

That literally happened all in ONE YEAR!! Oh and did I mention that I made Lifetime (that’s when you have hit your goal weight and maintained it for 6 weeks) on December 23rd 2010…and in January I was off to NYC…pretty much all of the events I mentioned above were spaced out within a few months of each other.

When you lose weight, no matter the amount, the questions are generally all the same.  “How did you do it?” “How long did it take you?” “What was your AHA moment?” “How do you feel about yourself now?”…

In mostly all of my interviews I used to say “I will NEVER go back to being THAT person again!!”  Before losing the weight I was depressed, angry, and hated myself every day for the choices I was making…of course I thought I would never go back to being THAT person again!! I was a size 6 and feeling AMAZING!! And did I mention all the cool shit I got to do?!

I will never be THAT person ever again…what a naïve thing to say. Because guess what…it’s 2014 and I am THAT person again. Did I *want* to end up back in this situation? Did I *want* to repeat the whole weight loss journey again? Hell no!! Who ever wishes for stuff like that?! But sometimes we lose control and sometimes we are so lost that we can't grab a hold of ourselves until we are hanging out with George Clooney & Sandra Bullock in space. Never say never, because you never know what will happen.

I have gained all of my weight back, plus another 30 lbs. I am officially the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I even had to be put on blood pressure medication and last year I thought I was having a heart attack and had to be hospitalized.  Come to find out, it was just a panic attack.  Something that was happening often and I had to be put an anxiety medications.

I didn’t *feel* anxious per say.  But when I think about it now I guess I did have a lot of anxiety. I feared going to public places where I might run into someone who saw me when I was at my goal weight.  I dreaded seeing family members who hadn’t seen me in a few months.  See, I gained the weight back very quickly.  After I ran my first (and to date my only) marathon in October of 2011 I pretty much stopped running.  Then I started drinking more (Beer is my poison and my most tempted lover) which of course lead to eating more…which lead to more hangovers, which lead to less movement, which lead me back into my couch with my sweats on and a beer in my hand…the same exact picture of the girl I said I would never be again.

See, I never got to just *BE* with my new body. Losing weight is hard and is a transformation for anyone but losing 100 lbs is some serious life changing stuff, and I am not talking because of all the amazing experiences I got to have but I am talking about your body. Your physical body and your mental state…they take a dramatic change. And I never really got to understand that until it was too late.

I think around spring of 2012 was when I really fell back in the hole. I was up about 30 lbs so you would think I would’ve stopped there, but my self-hatred for those 30 regained lbs ate me and ate me and I just continued to drink and eat and drink and eat and drink and eat. Everyday I would ask myself “How in thee f*ck did I get back here?!”  But that wouldn’t stop me. Sad part is, this wasn’t the first time I had gained weight back. Years prior I had lost 55 lbs on the program. I didn’t hit goal weight. I didn’t even have one set. But I was pretty close to a healthy weight and felt great. But then I had gained that back plus another 50 lbs.

So here I am now…2014 and at my highest weight yet.  Do I give up?? Do I throw in the towel and believe that I can’t lose weight and successfully keep it off for more than a year and half at a time?? HELL NO!!!!

I got married last June and it was the happiest time of my life. But aside from my wonderful marriage (& I must say that I am so lucky to have a husband who has loved me & has supported me no matter what)…I have been living in my own personal hell over the past year.  My drinking might be the worst it has ever been and it has forced me to look at my patterns and my habits. This is something I am still seeking answers to and not something I am ready to publicly share until I come to peace with it myself.

And my food intake?? If it’s cheesy and bad for me, well then I will put it in my body.  Sure, every now and then I get these so-called AHA moments (I always hated this question and I think that I now truly believe that there is no one AHA moment) and I start to track my food again and count my points…this usually lasts for a week or two but then I am right back into my old, disgusting habits again. And my exercise??  I sign up for races and then never train again to them. I went from running ½ marathons and a marathon to not even being able to run a ¼ mile straight.

Something over the past few weeks has changed though.  I don’t know if I am just, as they say, sick and tired and of being sick and tired. But I have really been taking a good look over the past 8-9 years of my life to try to see what the patterns are…what the triggers are.  I think I have figured some of them out.  Others, well they are a work in progress.  I never did this before though. It was just about weight and unhappiness. I knew I had bad eating and drinking habits but I think that my mental thought was “well if I track them they are OK.” That’s not always the case.

But one thing is for sure…I will NEVER give up!! I may fall and I may fall really ‘effing hard, but I will always try to get back up. It’s not easy.  Especially since all I want to do is get back to being healthy and fit again.  But I have to try to keep learning to be patient with myself.  Change never happens over night.  And even though I have learned SO many valuable lessons along the way about this journey, I still have many more to learn.  I have *so* much more to learn about myself. I’m not a quitter. I am a fighter.

You know what…I am NEVER going to be THAT girl again…I am going to be BETTER!!

Maybe you are or have been in this situation.  Maybe you are at your goal weight and struggling.  Or maybe you have maintained your weight for 10 years. Either way, we are all in this together. But we all have our own individual seats on this ride.  All we can do is scream and cheer for not only ourselves but for each other. Never give up and most importantly...never stop believing in yourself.

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Suzi can be found on Facebook and Twitter.

Dani Dishes 1-20-14

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On this episode of Dani Dishes, I talk about post Dopey Challenge depression, how I combat post-race blues & what's next! :)

Dani Dishes 1-13-14

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On this episode of Dani Dishes, I celebrate being DOPEY!!! There are quite a few tears, but overall my quick thoughts on one AMAZING life-changing experience.